Saturday, May 30, 2009

Romantic Weekend With The Smiths

continued from
READ PART 1 FIRST

Ranger Smith has been away on duty for 10 years and hasn't seen his beautiful wife in all that time. He arrives at his abode of love on a furlough, armed with flowers, candies and an engorged heart bigger than Jellystone Park itself.
The door opens and there's Wifey-Puss, all romantic and aching for her husband's long awaited embrace.
"Jebediah! Jebediah Smith! It's you , it's you! and you haven't changed a bit, oh my little Brad Pitt! My Anderson Cooper! My Regis Philbin! I've waited so long and have remained pure! I'm all yours and yours alone! Every inch of me is for you LambCake!" She grabs him by his gorgeous face and yanks her dreamboat inside.
10 years has made a few changes in her appearance, but she is as amorous as ever. She hurtles onto the couch as springs groan, ripping through the sweat-stained fabric to fly everywhere. She cradles her darling husband in loving gobs of flesh. She wants to spend the whole weekend playing kissy kissy, Spin The Pastrami, ticklepuss and Twister. Between kisses and tickling, she scoops up fistfulls of tasty candies and chocolates and vacuums them into her love starved maw. Melted chocolate drips though her pointy fingers and she paints Jebediah with brown kisses.
She takes a break from kissy games and goes to the bathroom to sweeten up. "Lovemaking makes me sweat like a rhinoceros! Hee hee hee hee hee." Her armpit razor looks up and sees the job he has to perform and panics. He makes a run for it, but she dives on him and shoves him under her pheromone producing glands and clicks his on-switch. Stubble flies out as we hear screaming and begging for mercy...

Meanwhile the memory of Yogi stealing picnic baskets is starting to look good to Jebediah. He looks for a door or window to escape from, but they are all nailed shut. Each nail is stabbed through a valentine. He starts to panic. "I know! I'll call Boo Boo! He'll know what to do!"

well I guess I'll save the rest for if I ever make this cartoon - which is probably never.


Maybe I should add a moral. Like: "It's not how fat you are that's important in a relationship, but it's how many scampering animals are frightened of you."

http://uncleeddiestheorycorner.blogspot.com/2009/05/should-cartoons-end-with-message.html

31 comments:

  1. NO MORE MORALS!Unless the moral is ....
    ALWAYS BE FUNNY, GOL'DARNIT

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  2. hell yes i would watch it! i'd watch the hell out of it!

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  3. Ha ha ha ha ha! Of course I'd watch that. It'd be really funny if he started trying to discipline her like the bears. Every time she goes to steal a sandwich from the fridge he makes her put it back or something? I dunno.

    I think the moral should be that people who eat bran every morning at the crack of dawn should expect to be unhappy. The real moral of the story is that you shouldn't delay love, because it will atrophy, but that's not very funny, is it.

    What about a story where Yogi's wife from a previous marriage gets poached and he gains custody to his illegitimate cubs who move into his cave. By the end Boo Boo is their favorite.

    I love the way you handle adult themes with characters who were created for kids. You respect the dynamics, rhythms and feel of the original show, and most importantly, the characters. In other words, you don't take Fred and the Flintstone family and try to make a Sopranos parody where the the characters are just shells with new personalities thrown in. Thanks for nothing Cartoon Network!

    I hope you post more drawings from this story!

    - trevor.

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  4. Hell, yes I'd watch this! Just this quick outline made me laugh out loud....I'd give my left one to see it animated!

    This would be a CLASSIC Spumco cartoon!

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  5. Love it hahah! Dear god make this cartoon!!!

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  6. I can imagine Eric Bauza doing the voice for Mrs. Ranger Smith. Marlo would probably do a great job "fleshing out" Mrs Ranger Smith's design. But who could animate this intoxicating behemoth? She has to move like an insane crazed horny Vulcan - we're talking the blob as a Tex Avery wolf but drawn by Rod Scribner.

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  7. i would watch this with out a second thought, no moral for me though, just straight fun if you please!

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  8. This is Hilarious! and stimulating without a cereal-box moral at the end.

    Here's a message I liked from Mighty Mouse though:
    "It's not the species that makes a family work, it's love!"

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  9. haaahaa! I love the part with the razor.

    This cartoon is right up my alley.

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  10. I would love to see this. How do we help you get these made?

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  11. HELL YEAH I'LL WATCH IT!!! when reading this very funny story, have you thought doing some Quickdraw stories? or any other HB characters? I like the way you give them human qualities drawing and story wise, no saturday morning with morals and crap. Great read!

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  12. That's hilarious! Even being so rough, the LUST picture is amazing!

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  13. Add a moral, honestly I think the fact it would mean something makes it all the more insane!

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  14. Ha ha ha! Of course I would watch it. No matter what the hippies tell you, fat people are hilarious. Especially when they eat voraciously on compulsion.

    Anyway, I dunno, I think this situation serves ol' Jeb right, seeing as he apparently left his wife for ten years. That's close enough for me, provided it's funny!

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  15. he should return the park more vigialnt than ever, lest he have to return home to his beloved. moreover he institutes strict dietary rules for all the woodland creatures to save them from a similar fate.

    Later, at night Ranger Smith is having trouble sleeping, perhaps guilty over forsaking his beloved. WIll restless under the cover he begins to hear funny sounds out his window. Upon closer inspection he sees all sorts of woodland creatures making love in the heat of the night. Morever he sees how ungly and mismatched all the couples are.

    "by god! If those filthy, disgusting BEASTS can look past their ugliness then so can i!"

    Ranger smith packs his bags and heads for hom resolute on making it work.



    --or at least thats what i imagine happening next.

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  16. I love it! In order for the Ranger to look up Mrs. Smith, you could have him use something like Facebook (ripe for parody) since that seems to be where crazy exes are locating each other nowadays. She, of course would have posted an ancient glamor pic - setting up your surprise lust gag at the front door.

    This would allow the moral: "Be careful who you hook up with online... even if you're already married to them."

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  17. I would definitely watch it. I love the gag with the armpit razor. That's a special touch to a cartoon, that is.

    also funny: his wife kinda looks like a fat bear.

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  18. If the joke is "fat people suck", then no, I wouldn't see it. If the joke is "men are perpetually horny assholes" then yes, I'd see it.

    But as it stands I'm a little disappointed with part two.

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  19. This has endless potential to be hilarious!!!

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  20. This... already has a moral or two in it shaping up. The grass is always greener on the other side, be thankful for what you have, etc.

    Seems pretty funny. I'd watch it!

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  21. Id watch it, and a lesson attached at the end isn't necessary, although I think explaining a moral lesson at the end that was different from what the cartoon obviously displayed would be funny too (some people might think thats dumb though haha)...Doesnt matter-the story has endless potential. You should definitely follow up on this.

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  22. Ebbe, you must be a barrel of laughs in real life.

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  23. Ebbe, meet Jorge. He hates with the best of them.

    The premise for this cartoon is funny enough that it doesn't need a moral. Morals remind me of Super Friends, and I hated that show. I can't recall a single cartoon I've ever enjoyed with a moral. At least not one that wasn't addressed: "And the moral to this story is:...."

    I think, unless it's a joke, a funny cartoon doesn't need a moral. As a kid I hated the idea that adults had just used my joy as a ploy to make me what they thought would be a better person.

    Nothing ruins a good time like finding out it builds character.

    - trevor.

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  24. That would be a great cartoon. Your Ranger Smith and Boo Boo Bear cartoons rule. Will they ever come out on dvd?

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  25. This has to be made! Where do I vote on it? Who's door should I go banging? Adult Swim? They sure need some funny! I can't take family guy re-runs anymore! OK that's enough.

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  26. Awesome, I'd love to see this and the ranger retreat!

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  27. I'd definitely watch this. I'd be interested to hear the sound the razor makes in her armpit while he's being abused. Is it possible to gargle hair?

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  28. I think the final reason for Smith to leave his lovely wife, would be her showing him a special surprise: a room filled with stuff made with animals (like an elk butt coach or cups made of squirrel carcasses) and him terrified at her. She would state that she made a room so Smith felt right in the middle of the forest even at home...
    Now that would add the moral twist...

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