READ PART 1 FIRST
Ranger Smith has been away on duty for 10 years and hasn't seen his beautiful wife in all that time. He arrives at his abode of love on a furlough, armed with flowers, candies and an engorged heart bigger than Jellystone Park itself.
The door opens and there's Wifey-Puss, all romantic and aching for her husband's long awaited embrace.
"Jebediah! Jebediah Smith! It's you , it's you! and you haven't changed a bit, oh my little Brad Pitt! My Anderson Cooper! My Regis Philbin! I've waited so long and have remained pure! I'm all yours and yours alone! Every inch of me is for you LambCake!" She grabs him by his gorgeous face and yanks her dreamboat inside.
10 years has made a few changes in her appearance, but she is as amorous as ever. She hurtles onto the couch as springs groan, ripping through the sweat-stained fabric to fly everywhere. She cradles her darling husband in loving gobs of flesh. She wants to spend the whole weekend playing kissy kissy, Spin The Pastrami, ticklepuss and Twister. Between kisses and tickling, she scoops up fistfulls of tasty candies and chocolates and vacuums them into her love starved maw. Melted chocolate drips though her pointy fingers and she paints Jebediah with brown kisses.
She takes a break from kissy games and goes to the bathroom to sweeten up. "Lovemaking makes me sweat like a rhinoceros! Hee hee hee hee hee." Her armpit razor looks up and sees the job he has to perform and panics. He makes a run for it, but she dives on him and shoves him under her pheromone producing glands and clicks his on-switch. Stubble flies out as we hear screaming and begging for mercy...
Meanwhile the memory of Yogi stealing picnic baskets is starting to look good to Jebediah. He looks for a door or window to escape from, but they are all nailed shut. Each nail is stabbed through a valentine. He starts to panic. "I know! I'll call Boo Boo! He'll know what to do!"
well I guess I'll save the rest for if I ever make this cartoon - which is probably never.
Maybe I should add a moral. Like: "It's not how fat you are that's important in a relationship, but it's how many scampering animals are frightened of you."